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Two of the worst teams in the NBA played against each other the other night I have seen so much great basketball in my life time. I decided to see what life was life on the other side. I am joking. It was a match up of two titans in professional basketball. The Golden State Warriors vs. the New Orleans Hornets. Don't ask me why I paid to see such a match up. I couldn't get tickets to any other game. I don't even like the teams. I am a Phoenix Suns fan. Before you accuse me of jumping on the band wagon, let me say, I have been a Suns fan since they traded up to draft K.J out of Cal . As I walked into the Oakland Arena, things were looking up. Just to the right of me and a few steps pass the entrance, the Warrior Girls sited themselves next to each other with huge smiles and even huger breast. I picked the right game. It was a sign and show. All the girls giggle as I said hi to each of them. With their baby powered hands, each one of them signed their names with the sex appeal of a Playboy playmate on their poster. I couldn't maintain eye contact with them. This time it wasn't their eyes that caught my desire. After my no touching lap dance was over, the game was about to start. The good thing about going to a game of this caliber is it's easy to get good sits. I wasn't court side but pretty dam close. The game started off with a bang. Jason Richardson grabbed the tip off and dunks it for two. The next hour and a half was like watching a high school game. There was one turn over after another. It was like watching midgets trying to dribble a ball without the comical part. Duke could have beaten either team on this night.

By now it's the forth quarter. I am sixty dollar short and six beers under. The home team warriors are behind. Both teams have not reached sixty points. None of the Warrior Girls have declared their love for me. If you care, the warriors made a final run in the last five minutes and walked away with a win. One less ping pong ball for the Warriors. At least I get to go home and stare at my wonderful poster of the Warrior Girls in all their galore.
Howard Van Lam



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