Be advised: Unless you are... a)a fan of Sean Penn... b)owner of a free pass to see this film...or c)an active member of N.A.M.B.L.A. you will probably not want to see this morbid and twisted movie. Once again I was lulled into seeing a film based strictly on the participants. Can you blame me? "Mystic River" boasts Penn, Tim Robbins, and Kevin Bacon in the cast. If that's not enough to grab your attention, Clint Eastwood lends his director skills. This movie is not enjoyable to watch, dare I even say it is terrible to watch! The acting, especially Penn, is excellent! Eastwood is efficient in his direction! The story is ugly! "Mystic River" starts innocently enough with three youngsters playing street hockey in their Boston neighborhood until.....and this is a "big"

until....until two men posing as Beantown's finest pounce on their prey. The false officers of the law intimidate Dave into their "squad car" and end up treating this poor child like a catcher's mit. Dave escapes his pedophilers on a literal level but is emotionally and psychologically damaged goods. Fastforward twenty something years later and these three young boys are now still living in the same neighborhood struggling to get over the guilt of that fateful day when their innocence was stolen. Jimmy (Penn) is an ex-con who's daughter is murdered and Sean (Kevin Bacon) is the cop who is assigned to the case alongside Larry (yeah that's right Larry....never tell me he prefers to be known as Laurence)Fishburne. The emotionally scarred Dave (Tim Robbins) becomes a key suspect in the grizzly murder. There is, however, a single redeeming quality to this brutal yarn. Jimmy enlists the aid of two neighborhood palookas simply known as "The Savage brothers" to hunt down the demon. It is certainly rare to see such knuckle dragging goombas portrayed so bad! "The Savage brothers" are so stupid, stereotypical, and completely lack the slightest inkling of an intimidating presence that you will find yourself seriously amused. Now mind you I do love gangster stereotypes, but these sorry idiots are just down right entertainingly horrible! Fuggedaboutit! "The Savage brothers" are pretty useless just like "Mystic River"! Rating: A naked Whoopi Goldberg (Pat Connor)