The Last Samurai
Director Edward Zwick

Tom Cruise proves once again that ancient cultures floundered and wandered through life until the great white Euro could come to the rescue! Thank you Tom! Ok...the movie wasn't a total wash, in fact there were some redeeming qualities to this epic! But first a bit of back drop: The Japanese are in the midst of a sort of civil war between the new capitalists and the traditional samurai who want to maintain Japans long and isolated culture. The manipulative greedy money grubbing pro-western crew seeks military success in the form of a disenchanted alcoholic American-Indian war veteran (Tom Cruise). Once in battle, the samurai capture Cruise and keep him psuedo captive. While held, Cruise manages to learn fluent Japanese, fight samurai style on a superior level, fall in love with the widow of a man he himself had slain, and most improbably, becomes the father figure to a boy whose father....yep, you guessed it....he himself had slain! Now that I think about this movie, I laugh at the outrageous request of suspension of disbelief! Samurai who speak good English(who the hell taught these mountain dwelling samurai English?), a whitey kicking samurai ass with a samurai sword, ninjas being outdone by anyone, much less a child! Ok...there is big battle scenes. Enough said! The movie is decent enough to justify two hours of your time and as long as I am being generous with the compliments....Tom Cruise's love interest is the most beautiful woman on the planet this side of Eva Mendez and Selma Hayek! "The Last Samurai" is better than I had expected but overall it is the typical yarn of a white man coming to the rescue of a needy people...ergo: "Dances With Wolves" and "Farewell to the King". Nothing special, nothing hideous! (Pat Connor)
Rating: A naked Sally Kirkland